Room 9's show, not tell writing.

By Anna Garthwaite | Posted: Tuesday August 2, 2016

Room 9 has been developing their writing skills, using good descriptive language.

The wrapper crackled as I opened it. It reminded me of when I last popped open a can of Coke - the bubbles, the foamy caramel colour, the spray of fizzy delight. I could see the can in my mind’s eye, I was nearly lost in sweet aroma of cola... swirled up my nose as I held the thin plastic stick protruding from the lolly

Gracia

As I open a sticky treat I hear crinkling, like ferocious wind blowing onto the bush. I rip away the thin, feeble layer of brightly coloured plastic, that acts as a barrier between me and the delicacy that awaits. An empowering taste enters my mouth, a warm strawberry flavour spreads across my tongue. The surgery The appeasing aroma wafts up my nose.

Jordyn

The Wrapper is scrunging and rumbling in my hands making my hands feel rough like a cat’s tongue the taste going right into my taste buds filling me with memories from the summer on a warm day.The flavour feel is sticky like honey and very hard like a stone.The flavour runs up and down my spine like an ant trying to find food.The flavour shocks me with joy and happiness leaving me like I'm paralyzed

Noah

The crackling of the wrapper ripping away as the delish taste in the air passed through my nose. The orange glow stood in front of me, waiting to be put in my mouth. The citrus smell filled my nose with tangy flavors. It felt like fluffy clouds flying around in my velvet red mouth. The glossy surface of the treat sparkling in the shadows of the classroom. As I feel the smashed concrete hard surface in my fluffy smooth hand.

Will

As I tear open the wrapper a burst of flavour spreads, hovering under my nose the temptation annoys me, giving me the urge to slam it into my mouth. As it hits the tip of my tongue the sweetness of fresh juicy orange tingles softly.

I am holding the cream coloured stick twisting it around and around, all of sudden I feel a sudden rush.

The loud crackles explode when I try to bite through. Bubbles pop like popping candy making me jump.

The orange coloured cloudy object was now no longer. It has disappeared leaving only the taste of joy.

Abby

The crispy and crackling of the wrapper as I struggle to free it from its prison of plastic.the smell of sugary strawberry drifting under my nose, teasing me.


As I put it in my mouth the taste buds are celebrating, a party of amazing tastes in my mouth as it slowly melts away like chocolate in the sun.The sweet liquid slowly slides down my throat like the hydroslide.


By Theo